I maybe from OKC but I don't approve

Unlike most people, I actually wanted the Sonics to stay in Seattle. See we aren't all opportunistic money grubbing pigs like Shultz, um I mean Bennett. My rational is how can you get behind another NBA team after embracing a different franchise for 2 years? It just doesn't make sense to me, it should be harder for a city to sever loyalty to franchise one year removed.

With that out of the way some of these names are a complete disaster, and whichever one they choose out of the whole lot, it is destined to fail to get me behind this team. Your lucky awful names to make it from the scrap heap of consideration are Barons, Bison, Energy, Marshalls, Thunder and Wind.

1. Barons- Really Barons, this is a name that only makes me think of how fucking much it cost to drive to the game, since this city has such a shitty mass transit system, not to mention, the reality of, well we all know where I'm going there, you don't name the team after the elephant in the room.

2. Bison- Boring simply boring, I won't even lay into my whole doesn't end in "s" thing here, because it's not worth it. Why does the NBA allow teams to be named/re-named after animals all the time, what happened to the good old days of creative naming.

3. Energy- This popular pick was spurred by local morons writing into the paper. Reasoning behind this name, at the Hornets games the fans provided a lot of energy for the players. Lame, lame, lame, lame, besides there already is an NBDL team named the Energy. That name certainly helps give fans across the country the feeling Oklahoma City is a big league city, anyway lets keep this thing going.

4. Marshalls- Why this thing is trademarked with two "l's" beats the hell out of me. This simply can't be the name of the team, because I don't need to hear stupid jokes about how Oklahoman's can't spell and that's why there are two "l's". Not to mention I've been to a Hornets game in OKC, they do some pretty lame stuff, like most NBA teams, and this name has the potential for lots of whip cracks, horse nays, and announcers yelling "Giddy up OKC, it's time for some Marshall law." That would be simply embarassing, thank god I'm a Bulls fan, not a Marshalls fan.

5. Wind- Yeah I skipped Thunder because I really wanted to adress this particular name first. This has no business ever, and I mean ever being considered for a professional sports team! As bad as it would be to be the Marshalls, the Wind? This better be for the WNBA team, although who cares about them? Anyway, what a joke, as you will see from a post i lifted of the Daily Oklahoman Jill in Oklahoma city writes "It's a fast break by the Wind! That name would be a disaster. We may have wind, but we don't need years of breaking wind jokes. Some other name, please, please, please!" Nice since of humor there Jill, I like it, however there is actually somebody that likes the name Wind Gary Royal 62 Oklahoma City "This is where the wind comes sweeping over the plains. Tornados, Twisters—it all encompasses wind. Wind will be our next big energy source. It's our future.” Wow I didn't know it was possible for a 62 year old man to like such a name fitting for a girls volleyball team, and it's actually "where the wind comes sweeping down the plains." I have to move on from this gem because I must direct my venom elsewhere.

6. Thunder- First off where the fuck is the "s"?! Who in their right mind would want to play for a team and say I'm proud to be a Wind or a Thunder. A part of me knew this was going to make it, it was originally reported as the name of the team, which was enough to make my friend leave his own apartment, and another to simply respond "what a joke" I simply can't stand this name. Living here my entire life, I knew this name was going to rise from the scrap heap of fecal compost of names hardly suited for minor league teams. Get use to seeing an intro staring this guy on youtube America, Gary England.


Just imagine him saying thunder not tornadoes. Way to go Oklahoma City you blew it nobody will ever be a big free agent grab in the town, cue up the AC/DC "Thunderstruck", pipe in the Thunder chants, and pass out the "Thunder Sticks", but you won't see me there, good luck you are going to need it.

Honorable mention non-trademarked names suggested by locals include

1. Challengers from Mercedes Wheeler reason being, "They need a name that has spirit and drive and says ‘go get ‘em.' They need a name that says ‘I'll give you a challenge, but I'm also up for a challenge." Ironically enough I went to a grade school and that was our name, and we were never that good, I'm going to assume you are a small child and I won't lay into you like Gary Royal, ye ole' Wind fan.

2. Heroes- This one is the funniest of the worst, I mean this one is such a junker Sanford and Son would be all over it. Reasoning behind this one, Terry Utley 37 of Norman- " I thought of Heroes because when I think of Oklahoma City, I think of people who stand up and do the right thing." How nobely lame, but there is more, Terry isn't done in a message board post like 5 down from the end of the story Terry drops you some more info as to why "Heroes", and a website. No I am not shitting you when I say it could make your day, I laughed pretty hard. Anyway Terry finishes with this post "Not much room here... if you have a chance, please check out www.okcheroes.com. The ideas are pretty good, not to mention the music. I know the name is not too "spicy" at first, but if you let it digest a while, I think you'll start to warm to it...", yes you'll start to warm to it, like a turd in a homeless man's pants trying to stay warm during the winter.


Honorable Mention good names people don't seem to care for, why? No clue

1. 1889ers/ 89ers- Historical tie, ends in "s", and has all the potential for a sweet throw back style uniform, however I believe the Texas Rangers own the rights to it from the farm team. A farm team name that doesn't sound minor league now were thinking, oh wait we let the short bus run the name game

2. Express- Since the NBA blocked Memphis from naming the team the Express since they play in the Fed Ex Forum, that left one last sweet non-animal name on the table, but I don't even think anybody considered that name. Nor where a practice site could begin construction before the move, a list of possible team names that weren't flat out awful, or even the people of Seattle. Have no fear guys this thing will fail as long as Clay is around, and if it leaves Oklahoma City, I won't be mad if you end up smiling at this failed attempt. Besides what's in a name anyway?

Thank you Ron-Ron for getting this thing going.

The Houston Rockets have acquired oft mentioned head case Ron Artest, in a deal that sends Bobby Jackson back to the Kings, along with Donte Green, and a 2009 first round draft pick. Gee I suppose the Rockets moving Green means the summer leagues really don't mean everything, isn't that right Tyrus Thomas et. al.? This is not to say Green won't be productive, but this deal gives the Rockets, dare I say it? Their very own Big Three. Some how I don't think it will produce quite the same resultant, as the Celtics Big Three. As much as I love McGrady, dude is cursed, simply cursed. How can a guy have that much talent, be that classy, and have so much bad luck. He just seems to be born to runner-up, kind of like Dan Marino, or Jim Kelly.

Yao is about as sturdy, as a house of cards, don't believe it? Well in the last three seasons Yao hasn't even sniffed at a whole season missing an average of rougly 28 games. Yes I am fully aware his production has gone up during that time frame, but what diffrence does it make when the guy isn't in the line up during crucial times say like the playoffs the last two years? Besides Yao isn't the straw that stirs this drink it is in fact McGrady that does make this thing go, for better or worse.

My boy Ron-Ron provides all those intangibles a contender looks for, but is sacrificing sanity worth it? The second this thing goes wrong, and it undoubtedly will go wrong one way or another much like Many, Ron will be Ron. He will get a case of the "ill advised shots" and say something dare I say, insane, asinine, or otherwise lamentable. Heck why even wait for the season Ron is already letting loose, upon hearing of the trade Ron said "I'll be a kid in a candy store," Artest followed with "I'll be a kid in a store with a lot of candy. I'm going to dance with the stars." Sounds a little off I know, but Ron assured us he will be a team player "Boston kind of blitzed the whole league with that trio they have. To pretty much compete for a championship, you need a trio and some great role players. I guess if it's McGrady, Yao and Artest ... I'll let everybody else do the math."

Well I did the math on this one and it just seems so good on paper, but when it all goes down I see myself buying into it like it's a Delorean. This just seems to good to be true, at the end of the day I don't see Ron, Tracy, and Yao hanging out. Personally I can see it being more likely ending up Tracy and Yao distance themselves from Ron like ESPN is to real sports coverage. Ron being the ever loving basket case he is, ended his phone interview with ESPN with this little nugget, "I'm still not the type of guy to do all the right things. That's not my culture. I was raised different, but that doesn't mean I'm not a good person. I might do different things. I might say I don't want to be a King or that my teammates aren't playing hard, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I might have had the [incident] in Detroit, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be traded." For a guy who on all accounts is actually a nice guy, that statment doesn't bode well, not to mention that quote is all over the fucking map. He managed to further be unrepentent about that brawl (Ben Wallace did help incite that one by the way), throw Sacramento players under the buss, and just leave me plain confused by the end. In conclusion congratulations Houston you got the Bermuda Triangle Three you wanted, oh well it could be worse Ron could be this headcase.